Lyon Sacks of Shit: Princess Whale: right?....Happy and gay, for the dream life to fuck and suck live away, camping on the edges of life. Something to share with the weak, displace veterans are the best targets for them.I need to invest in some more friends...that was a fun joke while it lasted 😂 😴 Let's Make Out/Dicks Out of Box Please Franky Tree, stories. Happy Fathers Day. Love and luck, wives to come and go, hate for the mothers, fathers have taught, sinners and saints, bald heads, strangers to friends, friends to foes, rotten apples from NY. Hogs to ride, lots of luck, lots of love, lots of hate, hard to say, trips with dicks, dawgs, and donkeys to date. Hats and horns, love and hate, horns of goats, sheep and masses, plenty of fish in the seas. Roads to travel, trips to hell and back, trips on the bike, lots of laugh, strange views, sons in the air, lots of brown spots, tricks and trades, running with the winds. I need to invest in some more friends...that was a fun joke while it lasted 😂 😴 Let's Make Out/Dicks Out of Box Please Franky Tree, stories.
lyonsacksofshitinworldtoday2014.blogspot.com/.../fairy-talessnakes-and-... 7608512267-fake friend, boy friend to hold on to for ?house with dogs outside, right? age : 45. SO IF YOU LET ME SUCK, NIBBLE AND LICK ...
Indi DiazNever argue with stupid people. - Mark Twain: unfuckwithable . Like I Love You. Tips and tales, NY retards, will steal stuff and shit of yours, and say suck it up, for the crimes again a veteran back in 2015, before the trip to Italy, so the fat cow could stay in a truck. To poor for the lights to be turned on, stupid and dump, hard to fix.These cosplayers met the actors behind their characters at the premiere of Solo: A Star Wars Story.
hi,i’m interested, send me some pics plz and give me ur number so we can discuss things further ,,,,no leads to go on, what about you, nothing said, nothing written, to get the ball started, who are you, and what would you like to share, tag you are it, faces in the shadows, animals under the skin, after you, Joe, Charlie, Mike or Moe...Stats, location, age, how tall, share, and make a change, make a choices, leaders of the band, baby boomer, hares lost over time....420 connected, retired from what, tell me something good...
What takes place in the course of evolution is repeated in some form as a stage in the life of each individual. Many fairy tales show the descent of the human soul from heavenly divine worlds with all its inevitable results (good or bad) in pictures that hide more than they reveal.Plenty Of Fish In The Seas, Tricks, Trades, Barter Wits And Charms. Dreams.Over 800 redneck sayings listed by alphabet - funny
all-funny.info/800-redneck-sayings-listed-alphabet
- Redneck Pride ... A face like a bulldog chewing a wasp ... About as low down as whaleshit ... As excited as a fag in a leap frog contest ... Better than a black land farm ... Crookeder as a snakecrawling up a hog wire fence ... Happier than a bus full of retards pulling into the Chucky Cheese parking lot.
Redneck Pride A buzzard shit him on a log, and the sun hatched him A cunt hair short A face like a bulldog chewing a wasp A good run is better than a bad stand A groundhog case A room so small you couldn’t yell at a cat without getting a mouthful of fur About as low down as whale shit About as lucky as a rabbit in a kennel full of hound dogs About as much as a tomcat needs a marriage license About as useless as a pocket in your underwear Ahhh, he’ s juss playin’ possum Ain’t even wore the tits off the tires Ain’t you the one, Pearly Mae? Always save the last round to shoot the guide with An RCH off (red cunt hair) And she didn’t have enough clothes on to wad a shotgun And you can bury that advice in a Mason jar Another wit and you’ d be a half wit .
Apples don’ t fall far from the tree As anxious as a one-eyed cat watch’ n two rat holes As crooked as a barrel of fish hooks As dumb as a coal bucket As excited as a fag in a leap frog contest As happy as a ‘ coon in a cornfield with the dogs all tied As long as Pat stayed in the army.
As noisy as a cow in a rail pile. As quick as a duck on a June bug. As restless as a worm in hot ashes As rough as a cob As useful as a sidesaddle on a pig Ask her what time it is & she’ ll tell you how to build a clock Ass is so tight you could not drive an 8 penny nail in it with a 10 pound sledge hammer Ass so sweet it’ d make your eyes water Beat you like a red-headed step child Beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick Bet even her dog bites her when she gets home Better than a black land farm Better than snuff and not near as dusty.
Big enough to fight bear with a switch Blew up like a jackass in a tin barn Blew up like a jackass on a 10-acre lot Blind as a bat Blind in one ear and can’ t see out of the other one Boy, you’ d rather jack off a bobcat as mess with me Boy, your family tree has no branches Build a cup of coffee Built like a brick shithouse Built like a depot stove Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor Busier than a one armed paper hanger Busier than a one eyed man at a burlesque show Busier than a set of jumper cables at an black mans funeral Busy as a cat covering shit Busy as a whore in the navy yard Buy you books, and all you do is read the covers Came within a gnat’ s whisker Can’ t never could do nothing Cats take cat fare Caught between a rock and a hard place Clear as mud Close the barn door Close the door; was you raised in a barn Cock of the walk Cold as a kraut-frog Cold as sauerkraut Cold enough to stick your tongue to the pump handle Colder than a brass toilet seat in the Yukon Colder than a mother-in-laws kiss .
Colder than a well-digger’ s ass in the Yukon Colder than a witches tit, in a brass bra Colder than striped snake shit Confused as a baby in a topless bar Confused as a termite in a yo-yo Cooler than the other side of the pillow Could talk a dog off a meat wagon Couldn’t catch a cold if it had handles Couldn’t fall out of a boat and hit water Couldn’t hit the side of the barn from the inside with all the doors shut Couldn’t make a plug for a dog’ s asshole with a shit for a pattern Couldn’t organize a piss-up in a brewery Couldn’t play the radio Crazier than a run over dog Crazier then a pet coon Crazy as a shithouse rat Crookeder as a snake crawling up a hog wire fence Crookeder than a dog’ s hind leg Cue the dance girls Cuter than a bug’ s ear Dance with the one that brought you Darker than the inside of a cow Darker then a cats asshole Dead as a door nail Dead as a hammer.
Dead as disco Devil’ s beating his wife behind the door Did the two-twenty volt shuffle Didn’t have enough sense to pour piss out of a boot if the directions was written on the eel Didn’t know if he should scratch his watch or wind his ass Does a Chicken have lips Does a fat baby fart Does a one-legged duck swim in circles? Does a snake have hips Doesn’t know baby shit from butterscotch Doing’ the green apple two-step Don’ t blow smoke up my ass Don’ t pee down my back and tell me it’ s raining Don’ t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out Don’ t pee down my back and tell me it’ s raining Don’ t piss on my head and tell me it’ s raining Don’ t shit in your own nest Don’ t try and steal my blessing Don’ t worry about the mule son, just load the wagon Drier than a popcorn fart Drive it in the ground and bark at the hole .
1. KIM KARDASHIAN VIA: DAILYEDITION Taking selfies is like an art. Easy to do but hard to master. Finding the right angle, right light and right expressions all take time to perfect for a great shot. Let’s check out the hottest celebrities who’ve mastered the art of taking appealing selfies… Let’s start the list with the queen of selfies. Kim is renowned for her “extroverted” shots.
Driving like he’ s in a hurry to get to heaven Drop you like a sack of dirt Drop you like a sack of potatoes Dropped your candy in the sand that time Drunk as a boiled owl Drunker than Cooter Brown’ s goat Drunkern’ ten Indians Drunkern’ seven dollars Dumb as a bag of hammers Dumb as a box of rocks/bag of hammers Dumb as a fence post Dumber than a box of rocks Dumber than a coal bucket Dumber than a leaf of lettuce Dumber than a potato, so we called him Spud Dumber than a sled track Dumber than a wedding invitation Easy as sliding off a greasy log backward Eleven kittens couldn’t lick that boy clean Empty wagons rattle Every little drop counts, said the old lady as she pissed in the ocean .
Falling off the roof Fast as a New York minute Fast as a sailor on a 4-hour pass Faster then a deacon in a whorehouse Feed him with a long handled spoon Feel like the ground floor tenant in a 2 story outhouse Fell down cup over tea kettle Fiddle fartin’ Fighting me is like fighting sandpaper – I might be skinny but I will scratch the hell out of you Finer than a frog hair and only half as stiff Finer than a frog’ s hair split three ways Finer than Burton Snuff First rattle out of the box Fits like a saddle on a sow Full of piss and vinegar Funnier than a one legged cat trying to bury a turd in a frozen pond Funnier than a wagon load of monkeys Futher Mucking Bun of a Sich Gag a maggot off a gut wagon Gay as old dad’ s hat band Get thee behind me, Satan and push, push Get your ears lowered.
Getting money out of me right now would be like trying to shove butter up a wildcat’ s ass with hot poker Gnat’s ass Gnat’s whisker Go crawl up a hogs ass and have a ham sandwich Go on about your rat-killin’ Go piss up a rope Gonna whup you like a redheaded step child Good enough for the galls I run with Got enough money to burn a wet mule Gotta lick that calf again Granny is so old she was alive when the dead sea was just sick Green enough to grow Hair like a last year’ s bird nest Happier than a bus full of retards pulling into the Chucky Cheese parking lot Happier than a gopher in soft dirt Happier than a puppy with two peters Happy as a baby in a barrel of tits Happy as a coon in the corn field with all the dogs tied Happy as a dead pig in the sunshine Happy as a gopher in soft dirt Happy as a new born tick on a fat hound Hard fight with a short stick Harder than a woodpeckers lips .
Has more balls than Carters got peanuts Has more balls than Tom’ s got peanuts Hasn’t got the sense to bell a buzzard Have a cup of coffee, it’ s already been saucered and blowed He ain’t worth the powder and fuse it would take to blow him up He always been a little touched in the head He and God went to school together He carries a flat rock in his pocket to fart on and save the grease He could cut himself with a picture of a razor He could fall down walking’ from the house to the barn He could sell a condom to a eunuch He could sell fleas to a stingy dog He could sell rice to the Chinese He could sell snow to an Eskimo He could shoot the eyebrows off a gnat He could talk the balls off a pool table He died once but Hell wouldn’ t have him He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down He goes at it like a house a’ fire He got his neck rung twice and he’ s still a flopping He got picked before he was ripe .
He had a look on his face like a rat eating crap off a wire brush He had a smile that could sell used snuff He has a deep well He has a hollow leg He has got brass balls He hasn’ t got enough sense to tote guts to a bear He is as honest as he needs to be He is Hell on wheels He is running seven ways from Sunday He is so crooked he eats nails and shits screws He is so crooked when he dies they will have to screw him in the ground He is so lazy; he wouldn’ t pick his nose if it didn’t taste so good He is so tight only dogs can hear him fart He is so tight you could shove a lump of coal up is ass and get a diamond He kicked the bucket He ran like a scalded dawg He ran quicker than Moody’ s goose He ran through the ugly forest and hit all the trees He was plumb knee walking He was smiling like a rat eating onions.
He was so ugly they had to tie a pork chop around his neck to get the dogs to play with him He would skin a flea for the hide and tallow He would steal the shitball from a blind tumblebug, give him a marble and put him on the wrong road home He would take the quarters off a corpse’ s eyes He would want a new rope to be hung He wouldn’ t say shit if he had a mouthful He wouldn’ t say suiee if the pigs were eating him He wouldn’ t work in a pie factory He’ s as country as cornflakes He’ s got brass balls He’ s running seven ways from Sunday Heavy as a dead priest He’ d want a new rope to be hung by Her ass looks like twenty pounds of ricotta cheese in a pillowcase .
Her driveway doesn’t go all the way to the road Her face looks like an unmade bed Her face looks like thirty miles of bad road Her face would stop an eight-day clock Her glasses are so thick when see looks at a map she can see people waving Here he comes, hell-bent for leather He’ s a few bricks shy of a load He’ s as country as cornflakes He’ s as useless as dried spit He’ s as warm as cancer He’ s been rode hard and put away wet. He’ s crookeder than a dog’ s back leg He’ s dumb as a stump He’ s faster than Moody’ s goose He’ s got a face that could split kindling’ He’ s got both feet in the trough He’ s half a bubble off plumb He’ s handy like a tool-belt He’ s just as happy as if he had good sense He’ s one of the vilest maggots ever to bore holes in carrion He’ s rougher than pig iron.
He’ s shorter than a mouse hole He’ s so black he’ d put fingerprints on charcoal He’ s so horny the the crack of dawn isn’ t safe He’ s so poor he’ d have to borrow money to buy water to cry with He’ s so short he has to stand on a box to kick a duck in the ass He’ s so skinny he’ s got to run around in the shower to get wet He’ s so skinny, if he turned sideways the stuck out his tongue, he’ d look like a zipper He’ s so stingy, he could squeeze the copper out of a penny He’ s so stupid his parents should have hit him in the head with a hammer and raised a pig on the milk He’ s so tight he squeaks when he walks He’ s so tight he would deal flies to a flying spider He’ s so ugly. When he was a baby, his mom carried him upside down for a year thinking he only had one eye He’ s tighter than a clam’ s ass with lockjaw .
He’ s tougher than a pine knot He’ s wild as a peach orchard hog Higher than a buzzards nest Higher than a giraffe’ s ass Higher than a woodpeckers hole Higher than giraffe pussy His daddy must have also been his granddaddy Hit a lick Homely as a mud fence Horny as a three dicked billy goat Hotter than 8 Indians in a covered wagon Hotter than a 2 peckered Billy goat Hotter than a festered tit in a wool bra Hotter than a freshly fucked fox in a forest fire Hotter than a June bride in a featherbed Hotter than a whores wet dream. Hotter than hell stewed down to a half-pint Hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock Hotter than two rats fucking in the sun .
Hotter than two-forty Hell / six shades of Hell I ain’t had this much fun since the hogs ate junior I am going to slap you to the back side of nowhere I am so hungry I am about to fall through my asshole and hang myself I am so hungry my belly is rubbing a callous on my back bone I am so hungry my belly thinks my throat has been cut I banged her like a broken screen door in a hurricane I been in the dog house so many times that when I meet another man I don’ t know whether to shake his hand or sniff his tail I can’ t lose this election unless I get caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy I can’ t sing and its too wet to plow I could chew nails, and fart tacks I could shit through a screen and not hit a wire I didn’t know whether to shit or go blind so I closed one eye and farted I didn’t let the door hit me in the ass on the way out .
I don’ t know whether to shit or go blind I feel like I was eaten by a wolf and shit out over a cliff I feel like I’ ve been shot off my horse and dragged through the sagebrush I felt like a foreman at a retard house I got to go see a man about a horse I got to whiz like a racehorse I gotta go see a man about a dog I had to shit in the creek to keep from setting the woods on fire I haven’ t seen him since Hector was a pup I just asked you what time it was, not how a watch works I like kids, but I couldn’t eat a whole one I look like Annie off the pickle boat I promised my heart to one woman, and Grandma’ s dead so you’ re outta luck I want it so quiet in here I can hear a rat pissing on cotton I will if it harelips hell I would drag my bare balls over forty miles of ground glass just to finger fuck her shadow I would’ t speak to him if I met him in hell carrying a lump of ice in his hand I wouldn’ t fuck her with a borrowed dick .
I wouldn’ t get in that car without a tetanus shot first I wouldn’ t piss in his ass if his guts was on fire I’ d eat a mile of her shit just to get to kiss her ass I’ d eat a mile of her shit just to see where it came from I’ d have to get better just to die I’ d rather be beat with a sack of wet catfish I’ d rather have his/her nose full of nickels than all the ten dollar bills I could carry I’ d walk through hell in gasoline underwear for you If a frog had wings he wouldn’ t bump his ass when he hops If brains was leather you couldn’t saddle a flea. If brains were dynamite you wouldnt have enuff to blow your nose If brains were lard, he couldn’t grease up a skillet If he fell into an outhouse he’ d come up smelling like a rose If I had a dog that looked like you, I’ d shave his ass and make him walk backward If I’ d ordered a dozen sonzabitches and they sent me only him.
I wouldn’ t feel shortchanged If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, it would be Christmas every day of the year If I’ m lyin’ , I’ m dying If my aunt had balls she’ d be my uncle If she was any dumber, we’ d have to water her If that ain’t right then grits ain’t groceries If that don’ t light your fire, your wood is wet If that kid don’ t leave home I’ m going to break his plate If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it If wishes were horses we’ d ALL take a ride If you ain’t the lead dog the scenery never changes If you can’ t hunt with the big dogs stay on the porch If you had a brain you’ d be dangerous If you had half a brain, your head would be tilted If you play with a pup long enough, it will lick your mouth If you taped his mouth shut, he’ d fart himself to death .
If you told her to haul butt, she would have to make two trips If you were on fire I wouldn’ t piss on you to put out If you’ re going to be a turd go lay in the yard I’ ll be all over you like a cheap suit I’ ll be on you like a hobo on a ham sandwich I’ ll be on you like a swarm of bees I’ ll be there in two shakes of a dead sheeps tail I’ ll bet she could suck the water out of an old pump I’ ll bet those legs go all the way to heaven I’ ll hit you so hard when you wake up your clothes will be out of style I’ ll hit you so hard you’ ll cough up bones I’ ll hit you so hard your children will be born dizzy I’ ll put a knot on your head a calf could suck I’ ll slap the taste out of your mouth I’ ll slap you bald-headed I’ ll slap you naked and hide your clothes .
I’ ll slap you so hard, when you wake up, your clothes will be outta style I’ ll slap your teeth loose I’ ll thank you until you get better pay I’ m as busy as a farmer with one hoe and two rattlesnakes I’ m as happy as a possum up a gum stump I’ m as mad as spit on a griddle I’ m going to beat you like a rented mule! I’ m going to jerk a knot in your tail I’ m going to kick you six ways from Sunday I’ m going to make a river I’ m going to stomp a mud hole in your ass and walk it dry I’ m not sure I understand all I know about it I’ m off like a prom dress I’ m on it like an Ethiopian on a cheeseburger I’ m so happy I could kiss a gay guy I’ m sober as a judge In a New York minute Is a frog’ s ass watertight Is that the same mouth you kiss your ma with Isn’ t that the cat’ s ass It ain’t no fun when the rabbits got the gun It could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon It rained so much that the river got so high you could see under it I.
t tastes like an angel peeing on my tongue It was so hot once that I was plowing the corn and it started to popping; the mule saw it, thought it was snow and laid down and froze to death It’ s been hotter’ n a goat’ s butt in a pepper patch It’ s come-to-Jesus time It’ s darker than old Coalies ass in here It’ s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs It’ ll be a whore house before it is a church It’ ll last about as long as Pat was in the Army It’ s as hot as a whore house on dollar day It’ s as hot as your mom last night It’ s as plain as a pig on a sofa It’ s back of beyond It’ s been hotter’ n a goat’ s butt in a pepper patch It’ s hotter than 400 hells It’ s like a singed cat, it tastes better than it looks.
It’ s like the woman with a nosebleed, if it ain’t one damn thing it’ s another It’ s like trying to push a wet rope up a hill It’ s snowin’ down south It’ s so cold the lawyers have their hands in their own pockets It’ s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs It’ s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs It’ s so good it’ ll make you slap your granny It’ s so humid you could beat the water out of the air with a boat paddle Just like squirrels, the woods is full of them Just like tryin’ to push a rope Keep it under your hat Keeping their feet to the fire King Shit of Turtle Island Knee high to a gnat Knock the horns off, wipe its ass, and drag it in Last night it snowed so deep, we had to shit in the shotgun and shoot it up the chimney .
Left like last year’ s newspapers Let’ s get down to where the rubber meets the road Let’ s send it up the flagpole and see who salutes Like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat Like a booger that you can’ t flick off Like a duck on a June bug Like a fish on a bicycle Like a hubcap in the fast lane Like a loose mule in the corn patch Like socks on a rooster Like throwing a match in a gasoline tank Like trying to herd cats Like trying to poke a cat out from under the porch with a rope Like trying to stack BB’ s with boxing gloves on Like white on rice Living in tall cotton Look what the cat dragged in and the kittens wouldn’ t have Looks like two pigs in a poke Looks like two possums in a gunny sack Loudmouth fucker learned to whisper in a sawmill Lower than a snake’ s belly in a wagon rut Lower than snail shit Lower then snake pussy Lyin’ like a dog a-trottin.
Mad as fire Mad enough to eat barbed wire and spit nails Madder than a wet hen Make like a tree and leave Make like horse shit and hit the trail Makes me so mad I could pull up green corn and stomp little chickens Meaner than hen shit Messed up as a football bat Money burns a hole in his pocket More room on the outside than there is on the inside More than one way to skin a cat Mosquitoes big enough to stand flat footed and screw a turkey My belly’ s so tight a tick would slide off My cow died last night so I don’ t need your bull My dogs are barking My teeth are floating My, my said the old blind man’ and he picked up a hammer and saw Nervous as a long tailed cat in room full of rocking chairs Nervous as a tick on dip day Nervous as a whore in church Never felt better and had less Never try to teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig Ninjas always fight together Noisier than two skeletons fucking on a tin roof .
Not in this lifetime Not much hand for work like killing rattlesnakes Not the brightest crayon in the box Not the sharpest tool in the shed/the brightest crayon in the box Not worth a tinker’ s dam Now ain’t that enough to piss off the pope? Now let’ s not fly off the handle. Now that’ ll throw your hat in the creek Now you’ re diggin’ where there’ s taters Nuttier then a squirrel turd On him like flies on shit One more time and I’ ll send you up the road kicking rocks One thing for certain and two things for sure Only difference between a woman and a vulture is that a vulture circles at least once before it chews your ass out People in hell want ice water too Pissing in the wind Pon my honor Poor as Job’ s turkey Practical as a screen door on a submarine Purtyer than a new set of snow tires Put that in your pipe and smoke it Queer as a three dollar bill Quick as a cat on a hot tin roof Quicker’ n a cat tryin’ to cover up shit on a marble slab Quiet as a one-handed clap Quiet as a spider pissing on a blotter.
Quit milking it children, it’ s a steer Raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock Raining like a two cuntted cow pissing on a flat rock Ran like a scalded dog Rocky mountain barking spiders Rode hard and put away wet Room for your ass and a gallon of gas Rougher than twenty mile of bad road Running like their feet was on fire and their asses was catching Save the rest to grease your cock ‘ case a pig comes by you want to screw Scarce as hen’ s teeth Scattered from hell to breakfast Seen more meat on a hockey stick Serious as a heart attack Shaking hands with an old friend Shaking like a dog passing razorblades Shaking like a dog shitting peach pits Shaking some dew off the lily Sharp as a bag of wet mice Sharp enough to stick in the ground Sharper than an old maid’ s tongue She can’ t help being ugly but she could have stayed home She could fuck up a one-car funeral She could suck a bowling ball through a cocktail straw.
She could suck a golf-ball through fifty foot of garden-hose She didn’t have enough clothes on to wad a shotgun She gives me a hard on that a cat could not scratch She has not cast a shadow in these parts in a honyonk’ s age She has round heels She is so loose even Gus Doorman could score with her She is so loose it is like throwing a hotdog down a hallway She is so loose she makes Houston look like a virgin She is so ugly I wouldn’t fuck her with a borrowed dick She looks finer than a new set of snow tires She looks like death eating a cracker She sucks cock cleaner than a platoon on latrine duty She sure drove her ducks to a bad market She thinks her shit don’ t stink She was just a moonshiner’ s daughter but the boys loved her still. She would run into the ladder after you put it up in the shed She wouldn’t know me from Adam’ s off ox She’ s so stuck up, she’ d drown in a rainstorm.
She’ ll drop her drawers for a mop-handle if you leave it at a forty-five degree angle She’ s built like a brick shithouse She’ s finer than frog hair She’ s got a face like a blind cobbler’ s thumb She’ s got a face that could scare the skin off a snake She’ s got more chins than a Chinese phone book She’ s got more cousins than Carter’ s got little pills She’ s got two brains – one’ s missing and the other’ s out looking for it She’ s horny as a road crew gal straddling an orange cone She’ s limber as a dishrag She’ s meaner than Moody’ s goose She’ s so fat it takes two dogs to bark at her She’ s so horny when you’ re fingering her it feels like a horse eating an apple She’ s so skinny fucking her would be like fucking a bag full of elbows and antlers She’ s so stuck up, she’ d drown in a rainstorm She’ s so ugly, she could scare the maggots off a gut wagon She’ s so ugly, when she was a baby, her momma had to feed her with a slingshot .
She’ s tougher than woodpecker lips Shining like a diamond in a goats ass Shit fire and call the Captain Shit fire and fuck a fat woman on a dead run Shit fire and save your matches Shit from apple butter Shit from Shinola Six in one hand, half a-dozen in the other Slap’ n’ tickle Sliced so thin it has only one side Slick as a jar full of eels Slick as deer guts on a doorknob Slick as grass through a goose Slick as greased owl shit Slick as pig snot Slick enough to slide on barb wire Slicker than buttered cats shit in a skillet Slicker than deer guts on a door knob Slicker than Owl shit Slicker than snot on a bald mans head Slicker than snot on a door knob Slicker than snot on a glass eye Slippery as a toad on ice So bowlegged he could hem a hog up in a ditch So buck toothed he could eat corn-on-the-cob through a key hole So cold I saw dogs stuck to the sidewalk .
So drunk he couldn’t find his ass with both hands and a highway map So far up the holler, they have to pipe the sunlight in So fat he’ d have to send out a search party to find his dick So fat it takes two dogs to bark at her So fine I’ d crawl over a mile of broken glass just to hear her fart over the telephone So good it would make a rabbit spit in a bulldog’ s eye So good it’ ll make your tongue slap your brains out So hard a cat can’ t scratch it So hungry I could eat a bowl of lard with a hair in it So hungry I could eat a cat turd fried in snot So hungry I could eat a horse and chase the rider So hungry that I could eat the south end of a north bound skunk So nervous he couldn’t find his ass with both hands and a road map So poor if it took a nickel to get around the world I couldn’t get out of sight So poor they’ d skin a flea for its hide and tallow.
So poor we went to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people’ s fingers So short he could sit on the floor and dangle his feet So short he’ d play handball off the curb So skinny he can stand under a clothes line in a rainstorm and never get wet So skinny they had to turn around twice to throw a shadow So stubborn she’ d argue with a stop sign So thin he has to stand twice in the same place just to make a good shadow So thin, if she turned sideways holding a glass of tomato juice, she’ d look like a thermometer So tight you stick a chunk o coal up his ass and he’ d shit a diamond So ugly looks like it’ s been chasing farts through a bag of nails So ugly she could cook naked at deer camp and nobody would notice .
Something here is half bubble off plumb. Sounds like a breedin’ jackass in a tin barn Sounds like pigs eating their young Sounds like somebody beating a baby with a cat Sour as a lemon gargle Squeeze a nickel ‘ til the buffalo shits Stay for dinner have something to eat, stay a week if you don’ t eat no meat Stitch in time saves nine Strike while the iron is hot Stuck out like a turd in a punch bowl Sucking on hind tit Sunday go-to-meeting clothes Sweating like a $2.00 whore in church Swelled up like a honeymoon pecker Tasted like shit good thing I did not step in it Tastes so good it’ ll make you fight your grandma Tastes so good it’ ll make your tapeworm stand up and bark That boy’ s about a half bubble off plumb That boy’ s as smart as new paint That boy’ s quick enough to turn around and kick himself in the ass That deer is dead as a doornail That dog won’ t hunt .
That feller is a shit salesman with a mouthful of samples That girl could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch That girl looks like she could eat an apple through a picket fence That girl looks like she could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence That girl’ s a six or seven. Six or seven kicks to the face wouldn’ t hurt That gravy Mother fixed for breakfast was so thin, I had to put side rails on the biscuits That house is so small you couldn’t change your mind in it That looks like rat-shit rollin’ off a rocky mountain That makes as much sense as horns on a mule. That ol’ boy is tough as leather That size don’ t come no bigger That thar is right as rain That went over like a fart in church That would be like trying to shove butter up a wildcat’ s ass with a hot poker That would make a rabbit hug a hound That’ s a fart in a windstorm That’ ll go over like a fart in a spacesuit That’ ll make a tadpole slap a whale .
That’ ll make you sick as a pile of dead babies That’ ll make your hair curly That’ s a new wrinkle on my old horn That’ s a young shirt/outfit/etc That’ s gal’ s hotter than a two dollar pistol That’ s gonna itch when it dries That’ s gooder’ n grits That’ s just an R C H off (Red Cunt Hair) That’ s older than grandma and she farts dust That’ s so good it would make a puppy pull a freight train That’ s the long way ‘ round Kelly’ s barn That’ s UFB. Un fucking believable. That’ s when the lightening hit the merry-go-round That’ s your ass talking ‘ cause your mouth knows better The best part of you ran down your mama’ s leg The boy would have to get smarter’ just to be stupid The devil to pay and no pitch hot The Devil’ s getting married (i.e., the sun is shining and it’ s raining at the same time.) The fruit never falls far from the tree .
The kid can tear up an anvil with a rubber hammer The Lord’ s willing and the creek don’ t rise The man you’ re rolling those pills for is dead The more you stir a turd the worse it stinks The most do-less man I ever seen The preachers kids are always the meanest The rooster crows, but the hen lays the egg The rungs on his ladder don’ t go all the way to the top The sun don’ t shine on the same dogs butt all the time There is more way than one to choke a hound There may be snow on the roof, but there is still fire in the furnace There’ s more hams on a hog than you think there are There’ s no jar doesn’t have a lid somewhere They couldn’t hit a bull in the ass with a bass fiddle They haven’ t got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of They live up the holler far as you can stick a knife They’ re no better than they should be They’ re riding’ me harder than a rented mule .
This is gooder’ n grits This knife so dull twuldn’ t cut hot butter This’ ll jar your preserves Those 2 are as low as a snakes belly in a wagon wheel rut. Those legs go all the way up and make an ass of themselves Three bagger, one for you, one for her, and one for the dog so he’ ll respect you in the morning Throw some glass in that pneumonia hole Tight as a ducks butt Tight as a nuns cunt, so fucking tight it whistles when it pees Tight as a tick Tighter than a bull’ s ass in fly time Tighter than a dick’ s hat band Tighter than a tick with lock jaw Tighter than last years swim suit Till Hell won’ t have it Too lazy to hit a lick at a snake Too much candy for the penny Tough as a Wang Tougher than a one eared alley cat Tougher than a pine knot Two sticks of wood don’ t make a fire uglier than 1000 toads on a mud fence Uglier than a homemade baby Uglier than a sack of smashed assholes Uglier than three pounds of shit in a two-pound sack
Ugly as a hat full of assholes Ugly as a mud covered fence with a crow on each end Ugly as homemade sin Ugly enough to make a freight train take a dirt road Uncomfortable as a whore in church Up a creek without a paddle Uppity as shit on a stick Useless as a one leg man at a butt kicking contest Wait broke the bridge Wake up and smell the coffee Wandering around Well bless my Annie’ s ankle Well bust my britches Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit Well I’ ll be dipped in shit Well it’ s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick Well it’ s what the cat said after it got its tail run over with a rocking chair won’t be long now Well knock me down and steal muh tooth Well pon my honor Well well, well’ three holes in the ground Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! Went to the outhouse to do his business and the hogs ate him What crawled up inside of you and died? What crawled up your ass and died? What I’ d like to know is who pulled your chain
What’ s wrong? You look like you just kissed the wrong end of a baby When all is said and done, its the politicians who say it and the taxpayers who pay and do it When God said let there be light, he hit the switch When that gal walks, her hips look like two bobcats in a sack When you lie down with dogs, you are going to get fleas When you’ re up to your ass in alligators, it’ s hard to remember that you came to drain the swamp When you’ve got a hammer, everything’ s a nail Who died? Who peed in your Cheerios? Why don’ t you go fry yourself a snowball. Why is there more horses asses than horses Wider than a double wide Wipe your nose and pull up your socks Wish in one hand, shit in the other and see which gets filled up quicker Won’ t pull a greasy string out of a cat’ s ass Worthless as a cunt full of cold piss Worthless as tits on a boar Worthless as tit’ s on a fish Would you not meet a man in the middle .
Wouldn’t hit a lick at at snake with a stick Wound up tighter’ n a two-dollar watch Ya’ ll are a bunch of Sally’ s Yeah, and if a frog had wings it wouldn’t bump it’s ass on the ground Yeah, if a frog had a pocket do you think he would carry a pistol Yesterday called, it wants its information back You better measure twice and cut once You can bury that advice in a Mason jar You can get glad in the same pants you got mad in, and if not, you can go change them You can take that & put it back in the horse You can’ t get there from here You can’ t touch pitch and figure not to get dirty You couldn’t hit sand if you fell off a camel You could’ t whip half my ass if the other side was helping’ you You couldn’t yell at a cat without getting a mouthful of fur You don’ t have an STD until your diagnosed.
You haven’ t got the ambition God gave an earthworm You just won yourself a five-gallon pail of whoop-ass You left the barn door open You look like death-warmed-over You look like refried shit You look like you been drawn through a knot-hole backwards You must have had an oral enema this morning, you’ve been talking shit all day You need to count your fingers after shaking hands with him You put the big pot in the little one You sound like a hog in a coal pile You’re a day late and a dollar short You’re gonna shove a bee up his ass You’re pissing in the ocean You’d never see that from a galloping horse You’d rather sandpaper a bobcats ass in a phone booth than mess with me Your cooking is so bad that the dog licked its butt to get the taste out of it’ s mouth You’re a virgin until you’ve filmed it You’re as awkward/graceful as a three legged duck You’re as goofy as purple shit You’ re as graceful as a three legged duck You’ re as quick as grandma running backwards .
You’ re as quick as yesterday You’ re as weak as seven days You’ re driving your ducks toward a mighty poor pond You’ re so sharp we can stick you in the ground and so green you’ll grow You’ re sweet as a pickled peach You’ve got a mind like a cutworm You’ve gotten enough miles outta that road You’ve rode that wagon till the wheels have fallen off What’s Popular Now Husband Divorced His Wife After Looking Closer At This Photo Husband Divorced His Wife After Looking Closer At This Photo 23 Nostalgic Photos That Will Melt Even a Frozen Heart 23 Nostalgic Photos That Will Melt Even a Frozen Heart Historical Photos That Will Make You Look Closer Historical Photos That Will Make You Look Closer Melania's IQ Vs Michelle's IQ Is Pretty Unnerving Melania's IQ Vs Michelle's IQ Is Pretty Unnerving How To Remove Eye Bags & Lip Lines Fast (Watch) How To Remove Eye Bags & Lip Lines Fast (Watch)
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The Boston Globe’s Hit Piece
On the murder of Senator Robert F. Kennedy. We’ll take your money. Article by Eric Peters. Mmmm…It’s Fresh Tomato Time.Cloudy Vision? How To clear yours up. Science or Science Fiction?Article by Edward Curtin.hi,i’m interested, send me some pics plz and give me ur number so we can discuss things further ,,,,no leads to go on, what about you, nothing said, nothing written, to get the ball started, who are you, and what would you like to share, tag you are it, faces in the shadows, animals under the skin, after you, Joe, Charlie, Mike or Moe...Stats, location, age, how tall, share, and make a change, make a choices, leaders of the band, baby boomer, hares lost over time....420 connected, retired from what, tell me something good...
Whiner Bill Clinton Claims He’s a Victim
Of intern Monica Lewinsky who ruined his life and forced him into debt.We’ll take your money. Article by Eric Peters. Mmmm…It’s Fresh Tomato Time.Cloudy Vision? How To clear yours up. Science or Science Fiction?
Burrito Index Update
Burrito Cost Triples, Official Inflation Up 43% from 2001, says Charles Hugh Smith.Lyon Sacks of Shit: Princess Whale: right?....Sisters in shades of black, sisters of yours , sisters of mind, veterans, Cali Chicks, babes, hands in air, American Birds, talk to the hands, cows, frogs, rotten apples, retards, rednecks, rejects from NY.
Hello 👋 to all 🌷🌷🌷🌷Sorry to hear about your troubles, but hope is always good, because it is the one thing that helps us get back up. Really things may be bumpy alone the paths that you choose, but it will make you stronger when it passes. I can concur with your thoughts about church, most of the time it just others showing off, showing clothes, showing off hair, and be a false person for the name of God.
Why Expose Children to Violence and Marxism?
Homeschooling is the antidote, says Ron Paul.hi,i’m interested, send me some pics plz and give me ur number so we can discuss things further ,,,,no leads to go on, what about you, nothing said, nothing written, to get the ball started, who are you, and what would you like to share, tag you are it, faces in the shadows, animals under the skin, after you, Joe, Charlie, Mike or Moe...Stats, location, age, how tall, share, and make a change, make a choices, leaders of the band, baby boomer, hares lost over time....420 connected, retired from what, tell me something good...
If We Want Your Money
We’ll take your money. Article by Eric Peters. Mmmm…It’s Fresh Tomato Time.Cloudy Vision? How To clear yours up. Science or Science Fiction?Lyon Sacks of Shit: Princess Whale: right?....
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Retards, rednecks, snakes in the grass, faces of frogs, whales on land. Big and fat, layers of pigs, hogs to the market, worlds of hams to eat. Fun and games, lots of love, lots of lies, franks and beans, kids and goats, songs to sing. Veterans with skills, homeless blues. Cows to call, dinner time, pigs and hogs, dinners to fry, frogs legs to eat. Back in time, strangers to friends, or not, pages to books, tales to pens.
Frank Agresti,Juliana Santiago.Waste Of Cum, Wasted Time, Sheep. Hello Friends ....Barbie is such a bitch. She has EVERYTHING! to ships to houses to clothes! Thanks so much for the cash to get out of the gate, and help to keep on track the things that need to be done with Ella Doce Cases De Mayo De California, and the goods and services to be provided for self, family, and homeless veterans in the state of California.I need to invest in some more friends...that was a fun joke while it lasted 😂 😴 Let's Make Out/Dicks Out of Box Please Franky Tree, stories.
Roseanne and the Racism-Industrial-Complex
The juggernaut that never sleeps. Article by Jack Kerwick Mmmm…It’s Fresh Tomato Time.Cloudy Vision? How To clear yours up. Science or Science Fiction?Origins of fairy tales (in the light of Spiritual Science)
Mythological consciousness.Many tens of thousands of years ago when mankind still lived in a mythological consciousness and could not yet think for themselves (the childhood of humanity), they possessed a partially developed clairvoyance, which were the remains of a primeval clairvoyance. Those who had maintained this kind of clairvoyance, or picture consciousness, were able to experience the spiritual world in dream pictures and so could see the secrets of the world.
Mankind was able to do this by being able to silence and cut out all the outer senses and enter an inner world and use this strength to look inwards. In these intermediate states it was as if the veil of the physical world was lifted, and so the spiritual world became visible. Thus, mankind could observe his union with the spiritual world and see the corresponding experiences within his soul life and the spiritual realities alive in the universe. He was at one with the spirit souls.
Nowadays, our soul has a threefold structure (sentient soul, intellectual soul, and consciousness soul) each having a different relationship to the surrounding world. Go Fly A Kite:Dreams in motions, songs to sing, good times, god ties, angels to host, heads to count, wishes on stars, slugs, sluts, snakes in grass, spiders and worms, cheap tricks, cheap fucks, cows to call, free milk. Why buy the cow?
Birds And Bees, Love And Luck, Flipping Coins.“We write for the same reason that we walk, talk, climb mountains or swim the oceans - because we can. We have some impulse within us that makes us want to explain ourselves to other human beings. That's why we paint, that's why we dare to love someone - because we have the impulse to explain who we are.
‘Everyday Saints’
Russia’s Christian Mega Bestseller: 20 Million Copies in 10 Languages. Review by Fr Andrew Phillips.Indi DiazNever argue with stupid people. - Mark Twain: unfuckwithable . Like I Love You. Tips and tales, NY retards, will steal stuff and shit of yours, and say suck it up, for the crimes again a veteran back in 2015, before the trip to Italy, so the fat cow could stay in a truck. To poor for the lights to be turned on, stupid and dump, hard to fix.These cosplayers met the actors behind their characters at the premiere of Solo: A Star Wars Story.
Science or Science Fiction?
97 percent of the climate concensus crumbles.Go Fly A Kite:Dreams in motions, songs to sing, good times, god ties, angels to host, heads to count, wishes on stars, slugs, sluts, snakes in grass, spiders and worms, cheap tricks, cheap fucks, cows to call, free milk. Why buy the cow?
Cows, Cattle Runs: Frogs, Snakes And Worms: Trades -
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Retards, rednecks, snakes in the grass, faces of frogs, whales on land. The focus is on integrity, transparency about who we are, and honesty, so we can decide ...What Would U Do:Murder Cases: Frogs, Freaks, Fools -
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Glory Dazes To Come, Treats, Trades, Tricks. Monkeys To Dodge. Frogs 2. Join ... Retards, rednecks,snakes in the grass, faces of frogs, whales on land.What Would U Do:Murder Cases: Frogs, Freaks, Fools -
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Retards, rednecks, snakes in the grass, faces of frogs, whales on land. Big and fat, layers of pigs, hogs to the market, worlds of hams to eat. Fun and games, lotsSinners and Saints, Black Snakes In Grass, Steven Jarrot 9096251371 ...
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Questions in the air, land of battle, place in the middle of the see, .... Retards, rednecks,snakes in the grass, faces of frogs, whales on land.
The Tyranny of Institutional Licensing
Many states are removing the economic burdens on hair-braiders and other small business people.Indi DiazNever argue with stupid people. - Mark Twain: unfuckwithable . Like I Love You. Tips and tales, NY retards, will steal stuff and shit of yours, and say suck it up, for the crimes again a veteran back in 2015, before the trip to Italy, so the fat cow could stay in a truck. To poor for the lights to be turned on, stupid and dump, hard to fix.These cosplayers met the actors behind their characters at the premiere of Solo: A Star Wars Story.
Mmmm…It’s Fresh Tomato Time
Cook them up to enhance their flavorful nutrients, says Dr. Joseph Mercola.Mmmm…It’s Fresh Tomato Time.Earth’s Crust in Turmoil. All-time record 500 earthquakes hit. Article By Michael Snyder.Mmmm…It’s Fresh Tomato Time.Archetypal and symbolic patterns worldwide. A fairy tale is primarily the account of an astral event. Genuine fairy tales portray reality, although this is not immediately obvious. They portray universal human nature and experience and, therefore, they are universal.
Their content describes soul experiences, cosmic truths, and the process of the individual's development, the elemental world, folk wisdom and apocalyptic imaginations. These stories, however, are not couched in conceptual language, but in imaginative pictures.
A whole world of spiritual scientific knowledge is contained in them. Fairy tales belong to our common humanity, despite cultural differences. All over the world the same symbolism of transformation and metamorphosis is woven into the tales of different cultures reflecting the common path of development humanity treads.
Cloudy Vision?
How To clear yours up. Mmmm…It’s Fresh Tomato Time.Our children are the balance to the soul-destroying effects of modern life, with its ugliness, emptiness, noise, violence and materialistic trains of thought. Seeing society has the 24 hours a day seven days a week technology engines such as televisions and computers to equate happiness in life, with the constants of money, success, consumerism, greed, and power......with all our children born natural imitators.
Puppet shows and Fairy Tales
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